1. The Lions took 9 wide receivers in the Draft
“Just seemed like the logical thing to do. Each year will draft one position and through percentages, build a good football team. It’s just like the lottery really. If you throw more darts you have a better chance of hitting a bullseye.”
2. The Lions Select D-3 QB in the First Round.
“He’ll adjust in 10-15 years. Trust the process”
3. Mathew Stafford Traded for Bag of Potato Chips. Front Office Thought Frito Lay Was a Star Wide Receiver.
“We dropped the ball on this one. At least Frito Lay won’t.”
4. Future Hall-Of-Famers the Lions Passed on Today
“We know they’re Hall-Of-Famers because the Lions passed on them. Their ability to pass on generational talent is uncanny.”
5. The Lions Use their First-Round Pick on a Kicker from Appalachian State
“We only kick field-goals anyway.”
6. Front Office: “We are really excited about the possibilities the draft holds…. Wait that was today?”
“Yeah. I have no idea who did the drafting….but that gives me someone to blame if it turns out bad.”
7. Matt Patricia Had a Hard time with the Draft because none of the players are former Patriots
“I kept looking for guys I coached in New England, but they were all college players.”
8. Lions Give up 1st Round Pick because of the direction of the wind
“We just thought it better to give up our chance of winning. You guys are just fair-weather fans.”
9. Bob Quinn Admits “I may not know what I am doing.”
“Yeah. This is a lot harder than in New England where you have Bill Belichek and Tom Brady.”
10. Lions fans Trick themselves into Thinking Something Has Changed
“We are really excited about our chances this year. I mean, it seems like we drafted a lot of really good players.”
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