The end of things rarely seems much fun. Whether it be the end of a television show or your time in a town you've grown accustomed to living in, the end creates this feeling of melancholy. The beginning, however, is always filled with joy, possibility, and, sometimes, nervousness. When I am really invested in whatever the activity or event is, I'll hardly notice the middle passing by.
This weekend I closed a production of The Importance of Being Earnest with James River Theatre Company. I had a wonderful experience. The audiences were wonderful, I got to know a lot of new people, and I had fun. I never want a good thing to end. Of course, I need it to end. I need to let go and find the next thing, start the next show, and write the next story. It's hard to say goodbye, though.
This time, fortunately, I'll see several of them quite soon. For example, a fair amount of them will be at Hamlet rehearsals tonight. There's no denying that it will be different though. We'll be telling a different story and meeting some new people. It's the beginning of something new. So, yes, I'm excited about the possibilities.
In the past, I never thought about the goodbyes for a show because I did so much theatre with the same 15-20 people for years both with The Pigeon Creek Shakespeare Company and at Mary Baldwin Unversity. I always knew that I'd see them soon. We'd have a drink, rehearse a play, and catch up. Then, I finished graduate school and worked on a slew of shows with a totally new group of people over and over.
The first contract I worked on after school was with the Hoosier Shakespeare Festival. I formed a close bond with the cast over the course of six weeks. I had a wonderful time, enjoyed the work, and learned a lot. Then, it was time for it to end. For the first time, I recognized what a limited experience theatre could be. It was so finite. I had to say goodbye to people I may never see again. I recall lingering in the kitchen the morning I was to leave, realizing that it really had ended. I can't help but feel that way about productions in general. I usually try to rip it off like a bandaid and disappear, but that isn't always an option.
To be honest, I'm not really sure what my point is in sharing my experience. Maybe it's good to reflect on the finite. The theatre portrays the timeless for a fixed set of time, or at least that's what we hope it does. Maybe there is something to think about here. Maybe the end of a television show, or your time in a certain town, or the run of a play being melancholy is okay. If an experience is hard to say goodbye to, then it must have been an experience worth having and sharing.
The middle really is the best part. Perhaps, that's my point. Enjoy the middle because the beginning and the end are always the same. The middle can be different. The middle is that flow state that we mindlessly enjoy. We aren't nervous about meeting new people, getting situated with new characters on a show, or moving into a new town. We aren't getting our last shot at a scene, packing up an apartment, or saying goodbye to characters we've watched for the last eight years. We are simply enjoying the chaotic, unpredictable, thrilling process of doing something new. So, yes, the beginning is exciting and the end sucks, but the middle is the whole reason we keep doing it anyway.
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